Woman at the bar

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“Hello?” hidden flirt in my voice, hoping it’s Jack.

 “Hey Libbie-lou! It’s me, what ya up to?”

“Hi, Penny. Nothing just sitting here watching a movie.  Sup with you?”

“I was in the mood for going out. When does prince charming get back?”

“Tomorrow.

“We haven’t got together for so long and I’m just craving poutine. I thought maybe we could go to Darby’s Pub for a brew ski and some dinner tonight?” I hear a lift in her voice at the end like she is asking a question rather than stating a plan.

“Ok. I’d love to. To be quite honest I’m a little down. I miss Jack.” At once he’s in my head, with his tussled umber hair, with its tips of gold,  indigo eyes, and those  lips that make me give in, closing my eyes I take a deep breath, I feel like it’s been a mountain of time. Distracted, I’m silent.

“Ok, let’s go out!”

“OK. How about in an hour?”

“Sure Pete will give us a ride.”

Five thirty and there is already a line up at the door but, that’s quite usual for Darby’s on a Friday night, they usually have a great band.  Not a free table in the house. Patiently we wait together for the crowd to thin. Standing on my tip toes I scan the room but its chalk a block full, nothing empty. Everything is loud, the people, the band, even the people seem loud.

Penny turns to me and shouts “So you miss him hey?”

“Yes, I really do miss him. I’m so hooked. He’s like man crack.” I giggle.

“Well good thing for you he’s back tomorrow.”

“Yes, I think this could be it, Pen.  He’s everything I ever wanted in a man. Handsome, charming, respectful, and best of all fun. I love him.”

“Don’t forget rich!”

That doesn’t matter to me Penny.”

“I know I’m just teasing you,” smiling she tips her head to the side.  “Love!? You sure?”

“Yes, positive. I hope he wants me as much as I want him.”

We finally get a table and the waitress seat us at our table and we order a beer and decide to share an order of nachos. The bar is a buzz of activity around us. A group of cute young men do shots beside us.

“I’m starving! God I hope I’m not pregnant. I have been eating like a horse lately.”

 “What! You’re kidding right!?”

“Yes, I’m very careful.” Penny stresses.

“What about you and Pete? Is it ‘Thee Love?’?”

“”Yes, I do believe I’m hooked too. Man crack!” she laughs as the waitress sets down our beers.

Penny picks up her glass, “to love and maybe marriage!”

I do the same, “to love.” I giggle.
“I haven’t told him yet.” I whisper, “About Tommy.”

“You’re not going to, are you?” Her smile fades away.

“I have to,” my brow furrows with tension.

“Oh Libby, I wouldn’t,” concern in her voice grips me for a moment.

“I have to; it’s not a secret I can have between us.”

“Just be sure.”

“Ok” I hear her worry but, I if Jack doesn’t know who I am, what I am, it won’t be real.

“I’m so glad we came out tonight!” She scans the room. “Hey, isn’t that Jack!?”

“What?” I feel a thrill run through me. “Where?”

“Over there by the fire place.” She points to the back of the bar.

I whip around and sure enough it is Jack, it’s like heaven to see my man. “I’ll be right back” I practically fly to his table. My mood instantly changes, I feel elated. Back a day early, it’s like getting to open a Christmas gift on Christmas Eve.

I see Jack at a table with 3 men and a woman on his left, the one I met at the Salt Room, Donna. Exwife Donna. She  leans over Jack, raises her hand and moves a strand of hair from Jacks forehead, pulls him towards her, and then kisses him on the lips slowly.  It’s like watching a  silent movie,  the room goes quiet and everything plays out in slow motion.  In my mind the room goes dark around them, I feel the blood drain from my head. I’m stunned at what I witness. My heart sinks and a knot that feels like vomit swells in my throat. She’s definitely in no hurry to stop. He doesn’t close his eyes but, he kisses her back. I want to throw up. When she moves away from his face, Jack’s eyes meet with mine and his pupils dilate. I’m sure by his expression he’s just as surprised as I am. Why would he ever have expected to see me here? His face becomes one big frown and his mouth opens and then closes.

All I can manage is a “WHAT THE FUCK!?” shaking my head in utter amazement. Everyone at his table turns to me, including her and flight is the first response in my head.

“Lib!” I hear him say but, before he can finish his sentence, I have already charged him with the offence, tried him with a judge and jury, and found him GUILTY! Turning in a fit of anger mixed with horror, I frantically I turn to run bumping into a big man. “Sorry!” And I push around him tear back to Penny and with nothing but, bitter anguish in my voice I scream at Penny like a injured animal, “I want to go.” It’s like someone has kicked me in the stomach, I can’t even catch my breath.

“I saw!” Penny gives me a look of sadness as she is already turning to leave.

Grabbing my bag and attempting to follow, I feel his hand on my arm. Frozen, all I can do is glare at him. I’m so overwhelmed if I don’t bolt, I will fall apart right here and now, in front of him. I’m not going to show you my tears you asshole!

“Get you’re fucking hand off her!” Penny shouts.

“Jesus Libby, it’s not what you think.”

“Don’t!” Staring into his eyes, I just about to cry, swallowing hard I manage to hold back my emotions. It’s as though I’m not really here, I’m floating through this scene, like ghost. This can be real. Am I really here? “Just don’t.”

I can’t pull away, and then I realize he’s still holding on. It’s like my body isn’t attached to my head, I’m paralyzed from the neck down.

“Hey buddy leaves the little lady alone,” some man behind us warns.

 I yank my arm and in a split second I’m gone out the door. As I hit the air outside I start to run, full out and when I turn the corner I stop.

“Lib, will you slow down for Christ sake!?” Penny chimes.

“Penny, I … Sorry I…” Anger succumbs to heartbreak, tears swell in my eyes and I’m overcome with emotion. Breaking down in front of Penny again, it hasn’t even been what, 6 months. First Jon now Jack, note to self-men with J names are out from now on. It’s been a hard year, one of many in my life. She sweeps me into a doorway and holds me as I cry.

“I’ll call Pete; to come and get us, it will be ok Sissy?”

“Pe..n..ny….” I mew through horrible racking sobs. We stay embraced until I can slow my crying down. I’m devastated. Penny’s phone ringing makes me jump.

“Hello?” Penny answers her phone.

“She’s here.” Pushing a hair out of my eyes, she looks motherly at me.

“We saw him at the bar.” She sounds angry.

“He was kissing some other woman!” She explains.

“Devastated,” she says with sadness in her eyes.

“She’s staying with me for the night.” she states. I know I’ll be staying at Penny’s, like the night I found out about Jon and his real girlfriend.

“I will.”

“Bye, talk to you later,”

“That was Steven. Just seeing where you are, he was worried , I guess Jack called there looking for you.” She divulges. “I’ll give Pete a call.” She swipes at the numbers on her phone and with one arm around me smiles.

“Did he say anything?”

“No, Sis.”

She starts to talk to Pete and within ten minutes he’s there, picking us up. He’s a wonderful I think to myself, trustworthy, attentive, she calls and he comes, he loves her. I can’t even breath, I’m so destroyed.

“Are you ok?”

“No,” I start to cry again, as we get in the car. “I’m not ok. What is wrong with me, Penny? Why would he do this? Why didn’t he like me?”

“Oh Lib, there is nothing wrong with you, you’re incredible. Men are just pigs!”

“Hey!” Pete pipes up from the Driver seat.

“Except you Sweetie Pie! Love you!” Penny sings sweetly and kisses the air between them.

My heart sinks, I thought that’s what we had, Jack and I, Love. Was I that wrong? How could I have misread him so, much? I’m such an idiot!

Spending the night at Penny’ was a horrible idea. My sleep is fitful and at 2 in the morning Pete wakes her up in the mood and I had to endure the sound of them having sex for 25 minutes. I feel exhausted, drained of emotion and hollow. At 6:30am I drag my depreciated crestfallen self out of darkness of my hiding place and make coffee, hoping it will ease my head ache.

I glance at Penny’s door, thinking how lucky for her and Pete to truly love each other and my heart break even further. I’m such a stupid loser! Tears start to fall again so, I curl up on the couch and hug a cushion. That’s pretty much where I stay for most of the day. At 5pm Penny announces she and Pete are going to friends for dinner and I can come if I want.

But I decline, “I’m really not up to it. I think I’ll just head home.”

“Are you sure sweetie?”

“Yes.”

“OK, we’ll drop you.”

“Thanks.”

Out front of my apartment, I wave goodbye and make my way up to the second floor. I feeling like I just was run over by a bus, I want to go to bed. I feel like shit. Opening the door, I hear men talking and laughing. Are they having a party? I try to invisibly slip into my room, when I come face to face with Steven.

“Hey. Libby. Perfect timing.”

“What! No, I just want to go to bed.”

“There is someone here to see you.”

“What. No I can’t, I’m exhausted.”

“Just for one minute.” He grabs me by the shoulders, spins me so I’m in front of him and marches me into the living room.

“Steven.”

“One minute.”

Stepping into the room I come face to face with the enemy, “Jack?! Why are you here? Please just go!” Like the song, hit the road jack.

“No, I’m not going until you hear me out. Then if you still hate me, I’ll leave.” He’s standing by the couch looking so good, so handsome. I feel as though the nonexistent contents of my stomach are making their way up my throat.

Steven turns to me and says, “Chris and I are just going to run to the store, we’ll be right back. Just hear the man.” I’m shaken. How could Steven be such a traitor? Why are you taking Jack’s side in this battle? He’s a cheater!

“What? No. Please!”

“Lib, listen to him. We’ll be right back.” I hear the door close behind me and we’re alone.

“Sit down.” I hear him demand.

“I’m fine standing.” Not wanting to hide the anger in my voice, I slowly turn to face him.

“Libby sits down.” He’s domineering.

“What is the point I saw you kissing her. What?! Are you going to lie and say it didn’t happen?! Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” Tears pool in my eyes and stream down my face.

“Oh Libby,” he reaches to put his arms around me but, there is no way in hell you’ll have me and her, I pull away.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.” Raising my right hand slap his face, I can’t fight the tears.

“Sit, I need to explain about Donna?” grabbing my hands he holds me forcing me to look at him.

“No!” I struggle to strike him once again. I want nothing more than to injure him badly as he hurt me but, I’m weak in his grasp, defencless, only tears speak for me now.

 “Sit Elizabeth!” His voice is more authorities now and it stops me dead in my tracks. I can do nothing but, sit on the couch and look down at my hands which are now handcuffed together by his. My tears flow and my nose starts to drip, fuck how dignified. He sits beside me and tries to palm my hands in only one of his but, looking up I pull away.

“Here,” he reaches over with his sleeve and wipes my nose. I try to avoid his touch but, it’s in vain.

 “That’s better. Please don’t cry, baby.” He sounds sweetly soft.

“Please just leave!”

“Baby,” his eyes are soft and so blue.
“I’m not your baby!”

“Yes. You. Are. My. BABY!” Grabbing my arms genteelly.

“I’m not yours, I want you to leave,” struggling to gain control of the situation.

“You-are-mine!” sucuring his hold on my wrists.

“Jack I s.a..w you!” I stammer as my diaphragm spasms with emotion.

“Just give me a minute Libby please!”

I close my mouth and let him talk, as soon as he’s done he’ll go, I can endure his lies for a minute.

“I knew Donna since high school. She was there when I inherited my father’s money, I was 19 and within 4 months we got married. I was way too young. So, was she. We fought a lot, when I started working in real state; it gave me some space from her. When I got involved with wine, it was completely by chance but, I was in loved it. I was a natural, I knew grapes, I had a gut feeling about blending and tastes.”
“Jack I..”

“Libbie just listen. I was good at vinter and Donna went along for the ride, 50/50. As I made money I invested in  two vineyards. I realized our marriage shouldn’t have happened but, was busy making money and everything seemed ok. By the end of year two, she got bored. She met another man and had her first affair.”

“Jack I don’t need to”

His index finger comes to my mouth and he tells me, “just hear me out,  please Baby. I need you to know. If you still hate me I’ll leave.”

“Ok,” I meekly obey as I sniffle.

“We still own a vine yard in the Okanagan together. Do you remember Laughing Stock?”

“Yes” I whisper, “your pride and joy.” He gives me a half grin and continues.

“We still own that, together. She has wanted it for a very long time and has pestered me to let her buy me out. It has won a lot of awards,” he boasts. “It is the best things I have done in my entire life. It is my pride and joy, always will be. But I felt I couldn’t move on until I sever this tie with her.  She would never let me be free unless I agreed to sell it to her. I needed to sell her my share to be free for you. I sold it to her.”

I look up at him and he’s smiling. Cautiously he wipes a tear from my cheek.

“So? That’s it? That your explanation?” I question, stay focused Elizabeth, trying to keep my distance.

“When I was away, I realized I don’t need Laughing stock. Not anymore. I need you. I came back early to do this for you.”

“You were kissing her, I saw you.” tears start all over again.

“No, I never kissed her back, baby. Our lawyers were just finishing up the paper work. She was pretty thrilled so, she kissed me. SHE KISSED ME!”

“And you expect me to believe you?” I ask with a doubt filled voice.

“Yes.”

“How can I believe you?”

 Libby it’s the truth, you have to trust me.”

Trust you, I think to myself. Trust you like I trusted my parents to come home to me the night they died. Trust you like I trusted them to look after me forever. Like I trusted Jon ton to be good to me. Like I trusted my foster parents to keep me safe?

“Trust is the one thing that doesn’t come easy to me,”

“I know Lib, I’m just asking you try with me ok? I know it’s hard but, I need you to believe in me. Can you try, please?”

“Why should I?”

“Because Elizabeth Whyte, that’s the truth. Because I’ve always been honest with you.  Because I love you.” Cupping my face in his palms, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs, his face is softens and his eyes are burn into mine. “I love you Elizabeth. I love you and no one else.”

“What?”

“I love you Elizabeth Whyte.”

Tears over flow and cascade down my face. I want to believe you Jack. Taking a deep breath I manage to get out, “you love me?”

“More than words can say. You have my heart Libby and only you.”

“Oh, Jack.”

“There’s no one for me but you.” Reaching over grabbing my legs he pulls me so, my legs are crossed over his and he’s cradling me so I’m sitting on his lap.

“Promise?!” Looking into his eyes I see deep pools of honest blue, twinkling back at me with deep want of emotion.

“Promise, only you.”  Instantly he’s kissing me, it’s the first kiss since he got back from Italy, I wrap around him with my arms, and welcome his lips as they brush against mine. I did miss him. I feel awakening pressure as he opens my mouth with his, and our kiss changes its necessity. He’s desperate with reassurance and I’m depurating with need of love. Passion takes over and his hands surround my face.

“I missed you honey. Next time you’re coming with me.” Brushing my hair away from my eyes and wiping my tears. I’m safe now, safe in his arms.

“ I believe you, Jack. I believe you’re telling the truth. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh, no, don’t be sorry, I’m sorry.” Kissing my neck he stops and breathes the words I’m aching to hear, “Baby, I want to make love to you, I missed you so much,” He kisses my neck. I hear the door.

“Hi, we’re home.” Steven shouts. “Is everybody ok?”

“Shit, bad timing.” His soft comment catches me off guard and I laugh out loud. Playing he gives me a scowl.

“Everybody’s good.”

 “Are you staying for dinner, Jack?” Chris peaks around the corner.

“Yes he is,” I shout back staring into his eyes.

“We bought steak.”

He’s grinning from ear to ear. “How about if I help cook dinner?”

“Now that sounds like a great idea,” Steven says as he put the groceries on the counter. “I’ll put on some music.”

“I’ll set the table.” Christen pipes up.

Kissing Jack again, this time eyes open, I feel his love. It’s like It’s like a gentle warm rain has washed over me feeling fresh and alive. Renewed.

“I’m sorry you sold your pride and joy,” I whisper.

“I’m not,” he’s smiling.

Holding his hand I follow Jack into the kitchen because I want to help and I need to be near him. I need to smell him. I need to feel him. I need to reconnect with him.

Hidden from the boys, Jack turns to face me, reaches down around my bottom and pulls me to him. I feel his erection against my hip and it’s sexy. Looking into my eyes he kisses my lips. I open my hungry mouth to let in his tongue and I’m lost. Powerful, sensual, he’s captivated me in an erotic drowsiness. I’m filled with a heavy greed for him. When he lifts his mouth to my forehead, I’m left breathless.

“Easy, or they can forget dinner.” He whispers against my hair. He’s breathless too.

“Who’s hungry anyway?” I speak up at him.

“Me, for you.” Looking directly into my eyes he dawns a wicked smirk and winks. “Now, help me with dinner!” He gives me big squeeze on the behind, with both hands before letting me go.

He is very comfortable in the kitchen. He looks in the fridge and after a full inspection he decides what to cook. Starting with some onions, then peppers and celery, he’s good with a chef’s knife. He places his ingredients on a platter.

“Do you have ramen noodles?” he asks sweetly.

“Yes, I think so,” grabbing some from the pantry.

“We’ll have some peppered beef over lomein noodles. Can you fill this pot with water sweetie?”

“Sure. Sounds delicious.” I grab the pot but, he hangs on not letting go, with a broad I love to tease you smile.

“Kiss me!” pulling me towards him, laughing, “Kiss me and you can have this pot.” Winking.

How can I not, he’s adorable. His hair is a sexy mess, his eyes are melt-me-this-minute blue and he’s cooking for my family.  He just traveled half way around the world, put up with my misjudging and leaving him in a bar and he got rid of his pride and joy wine company to be with me. Amazing. ‘He’s my prince charming I launch myself at him. Holding his face between my hands I press my lips to his in a lustful embrace.

“I missed you.” I breathe against him. “I’m so glad you’re here,” peaking up to his eyes. Touching his lips with my finger, running it along his bottom lip, “you’re amazing.”

“You are amazing, I don’t know anyone who can boil water quite like you,” he holds up the pot for me to take.  I take hold of the pot with a flirty pouty look and when I turn to fill he swats me on my behind.

“Hey!” I giggle.

“Do as you’re told.” his voice is low and sultry.

 
{Dinner conversation about trip and wine and going to a hockey game, going to whistler, going to celebration.}

“Dinner was great, Jack. You’re an awesome cook.”

“We’ll do dishes.” Chris winks at Steven.

The table is cleared and all you can hear are pots and pans banging. I know we didn’t use that many pots.

“Sleepy?” I tease.

His blue eyes frown questioning me.

“Time for bed,” letting my eyes  flirt back at him.

“Are you sure I should stay?”

“I’m sure. I need you to stay. I need to feel you. They don’t care and even if they did, they sleep together. ”

“Ok, bed time.” He winks.

“Good night we are going to bed.”

“Good night.”

We walk into the bedroom together and Jack closes the door. I walk towards the bed and Jack clasps my hand and pulls me back, so we’re facing each other. Jack takes ownership of my body, without his eyes leaving mine, his fingers run down along my eyes, my jaw, my neck and trail feather light over my breasts, my stomach and then grasps my right hand with both his hands. Slow as honey he turns my palm up and leans down and kisses my opened hand, and looks up at me, “Mine.”  Continuing to kiss me on my bare arm trailing all the way up to my shoulder under my sleeveless tank, then my neck, stopping after each kiss to re-enforce, I’m his. Firmly tugging my belt loops, undoing my belt, he softly mouths at me, “all mine.”

Pulling up the bottom of my shirt I lift my arms and he peels it over my head. His hands cup my breasts and tease my nipples through my pink lacey bra, rosie hard buds push against the fabric and I’m lost.  I moan so wanting. His eye search mine I’m not sure for what, he looks so serious. “Mine baby.”  I take a long deep breath fully lubricated, I mouth back,. “Yours.”

Stroking my breast with a fluid intensity, rolling the nipple, I start to slowly smolder in my groin. It’s been a week and with all the drama over the last day and night, I’m ready now, “Jack.” I close my eyes.

“Shhh, I’m not finished.” he undoes my button and tugs down my zipper, hooking his thumbs in my waistband he slides my jeans off, kneeling in front of me. “Step.”

I hold his shoulders to steady myself and step out of my jeans. He looks up at me “You’re so beautiful.”

“You always take my breath away.”

He straightens up still kneeling his face against my stomach he presses against my navel and kisses me, stroking my bottom, slowly moving to the apex of my thighs, there, he kisses me there. I feel him mouth the word mine there, the vibration of his voice. Exsquisite. Squeezing my bottom in a loving embrace, I run my fingers through his beautiful soft curls on his head. Stroking my clitoris with his tongue urges me to cry out, “yours. Only yours Jack.’ Standing up he ushers me to the bed. Sweetly, gingerly he makes love to me, holding each other caressing, loving.

“I love you Libby.”

“Jack, I love you too.”

 Falling into a deep sleep I dream of being loved by Jack in a vineyard.