Secrets

Chapter 25- next day after big night

Not able to sleep I get up and find a fluffy white bath robe in the bathroom, put it on and go to the balconie. It’s a beautiful morning the sky is a clear grey blue  the sun in just coming up and the seagulls have found me. They  are soaring around me hoping for breakfast. They have a lonely cry. And for silly memories of my past I feel their loneliness and want to cry.  “Good Morning Sunshine.. Why do you look so forlorn?” I jump with surprise and dab my eyes clearing any tears that might have started.

“Good morning, I’m not forlorn. It’s the wind it makes my eyes water.” Grabbing hold of my bathrobe collar I pull it closed tight.

actin thought

“Oh that damned wind, it gets you every time.” action thught. Laughing he engulfs me in his arms kissing my temple and the sad thoughts are gone, for now. If always feels so good to be in his arms and this morning is no exception, he’s comforting and safe. Like  rain on a tin roof when you’re warm and dry inside.  He makes me happy in an nostalgic way. I’m home. He stands back and looks at me, he’s wearing  white terry cloth robe that matches mine. “Apart from one tiny  glitch, did you enjoy yourself last night? Miss Whyte?” he has an unsure frown on his face.

“Yes I did.”   I’m quiet for a minute and then I blurt out, “ I am so sorry.”
His index  finger comes up to my mouth, “Baby, it’s ok, lets forget about that ok? .” he brushes the hair out of my face and he smiles a very relaxed smile. There is a knock at the door. “Coffee!” he turns and walks to the door.

Room service leaves the coffee on the table and Jack pours one for me then another for himself. Handing it to me I grasp the cup but, he doesn’t let go. Our eyes meet and I’m frozen in his stare(WORD) .

“What?” My eyes question his.

“Move in with me, Sweetie.”

“What? Move in with you?” my voice is soft as a whisper.

“I love you so, much. I want to wake up like this every morning. I want to be with you all the time, to laugh with you and protect you and hold you when you cry.”

“I can’t, you don’t know anything about me. I’m not the person you think I am. I’m tainted.” And with that tears start all over again. I feel so, unworthy of you Jack and I’m so scare to say why. The floor feels like it’s falling away.

“What do you mean tainted, you are perfect any thing that happen before we met, I don’t care about. I need you every day. You make me feel so, alive, baby.”

   “If I tell you I know you’ll leave me and I couldn’t bare that. Jack I’m falling in love with you and I’m……so…….scared. So…scared.” Wrapping my arms around myself I look down and gather my courage but, it feels like my blood is draining away. “Something happened 11years ago and if I tell you I know you won’t want me.”

“Baby I’m not going anywhere. Please believe me I’m staying right here. RIGHT HERE! With you. What has you so, spooked? What is it Baby?” his arms come around me and hold me tight.  Home.  If I’m to go any further with him, I have to say. Penny is right,  I have to tell him what happen to me 11 years ago and if it is meant to be, he will understand.