The Fairmount

Chapter 24- The Fairmount

 We arrive at the Fairmount hotel and everything is enchanting the gowns, the lights, the photographers, the red carpet from doorway to the curb  like we are  at the Oscars .  The doorman opens our door and Jack gets out first then always the gentleman holds out his hand for me to take. Holding my breath as I  get out, he takes my hand and together we glide into the hotel. “Breathe baby.  I’m right here.” he whispering in my ear. Shivers run through me He stops me wraps his arm around my waist and says “smile.” I feel so, glamorous,  the bracelet, the dress, the shoes, my hair is so fancy. We pose for several cameral shots and slowly  walk into the hotel.  Once inside he leads me by the hand to a huge ballroom filled with sparkling lights, satin table cloths and hundreds of people. “Wow! This is incredible!” my voice is full of enthusiasm.

“Is it what you expected sweetie?” He brushes his thumb against my cheek, leans down and kisses me where he just touched.

               “More!” I just want to jump up and down.

Chapter 20  the horrible meeting

Let’s find our table and get a drink. Then there are some people I want you to meet, baby.” Meet people dance

“Ok,” I’m shy. We walk towards a women I recognize as Liz from the Salt room. She dressed in a gorgeous fire engine red gown, most likely silk by the way it floats as she walks.

“Hi, Liz looks like everyone who’s someone is here.” He smiles eyeing the room.

“Hello, darling.” She kisses him and then turns to me.

“Hello Elizabeth, oh, my your bracelet is stunning.” She kisses my cheeks in a very French manner.

“Le SOMEWHERE Not SURE {We are standing near a wall and he leans me back so I’m against the wall. He reaches (word) up and gently grabs my ear, and whispers. “Do you know even when  you’re sleeping your ears are still listening?” rubbing his thumb and index finger over my lobe.
“Ear trivia”

“ I love your ears,”  making me hum low in my belly. His breathing becomes a little heavier.  Holding my chin, my lobe and earing are engulfed  in his mouth. I gasp and let out a quick breath. . “And your neck,” His lips move to just below my ear and he softly kisses my very exposed neck.  “ Do you feel good?” My eyes close, I give a long drawn out “Yes”. I have a room upstairs,  baby. I want to get you out of that dress”  burns in my ear. “Just say the word and we are out of here. Ok?” His hand strokes down my arm leaving me feeling breathless. He’s electricfying. “Yes, Jack. The word!”. His voice is like being hit by a heat wave, so full of sensation. I’m melting.

“I’m going to say goodbye to some people. Just give me a moment and we’ll go. I can hardly wait to share my surprise.” He runs his hand down my back and walks away.

I feel him before he even touches me. At first I thought was Jack coming up to me again toying with me, his back to my front and I lean back into him but, I was wrong, so very wrong. “Hi, Libbie.” He has his  hands on my waist in a tight grip but, it wouldn’t matter I’m instantly frozen in fear. I see his reflection in a mirror and instantly know who it is, after all these years. My throat tightens restricting my air and throwing up the on switch to my adrenelin gland. I feel my whole body tense and drain of blood. My now heavy legs belong to someone else  and they are  not willing move for one inch. Memories flood my mind of that horrible day  when I was 12. He whispers in my ear, like we are intimately connected .“I haven’t seen you for a very long time beautiful. I recognized you right away, you haven’t changed much same color hair, same face basically, maybe more beautiful, and same body just better. He slides his hand down to my thigh. “AHHH’ I let out a brief gasp. I try and pull away and fail,  totally frozen with fear. I close my eyes, if I close them maybe this will all dissolve  like waking up from a bad dream. No, he’s still there when I open them. Sweat starts to bead on my lip. My breathing quickens. My heart feels like it’s in a nascar race, if it doesn’t slow down I might have a stroke. Fuck, where are you Jackson? Oh sinnerman where you going to run to? I feel like I’m going to be sick and that fucking music keeps playing. Shit! He moves his hand across my belly.   My throat is dry. Oh sinnerman, where you going to run to? He smells sour, it’s making me want to throw up. I swallow hard but, can’t  find any moisture.  Then he lets me go and stands to the side of me, like we are just talking. Oh sinnerman where you going to run to?

“ Susie, what’s going on?” Jack  looks mortified looking down at Tommy”s hands. “What are you two up to?” I don’t feel like I’m breathing. I’m not. My breathing has stopped I’m sure.I swallow hard again,  trying to evaluated my breathing. All along dem day. “Jack!” oh my god how do I answer you. What can I say, nothing. Jack, I can’t say. My mind tries to will my thoughts to him but, right now all I can think of is to run. Run Libbie run! Get out of here fast, girl.

“Jack, hey hows it going? I can’t believe I ran into Susie like this, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her.” He still holding my waist. He pauses like he’s congering up some lie in his head, oh ya Tommy was always a great lier if I remember.

“Yes as a matter of fact I’ve known Susie for years. “Susie are you alright?” Jack reaches for my hand.

I pull away and look down, shaking my head ,no. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” My legs are mine again and I’m moving, fast. I leave them standing looking at each other.  I’m out the door and down the hall practically running  to the bathroom. First chinese wedding the bathroom. I run smack into Liz as I enter, knocking her  back.

“I’m so sorry! A tear is running down my cheek. She stares at me and I keep on walking into the bathroom. Sanctuary, I feel safer in the bathroom. I find an empty cubical and hide. I can’t believe  he found me. Tears come like a river. Great big ugly sobs, racking my body with uncontrollable  spasms. Ruining my evening and possibly my life with Jack. My heart is still racing and my breathing erratical, I think I’m having an anxiety attack. I can’t go back in there, ever. I lean against the cold metal  wall of the bathroom stall, slide to the floor, feeling  crushed  to see my beautiful  fairy tale come to a stabbing end. My magical night with Jack, terminated in a bitter twist, because  Cinderella has to go home and  forfeit her prince.  Through blurring tears I look at my bracelet . I have to return it to him. I can’t keep it. Not now. I have to get out of here, some how.  Where do I run?

“Libbie are you in there?”I look up as if I can see through the metal door.

Shit it’s Jack. I don’t answer right away thinking maybe he won’t find me or he’ll just go away.

“Lib? Are you in there baby?”He taps gentley on the door of the stall. “Open up sweetie, Liz says your not ok.”

“No please just go away.” I answer sobbing. I’m scared and it chills me to my bones. You can’t know this about me, Jack. You just can’t know!

“Lib, open the door. Please! Baby, please open up” his voice softens, “I need to know you’re ok. Are you sick?”

“No.” I softly answer back.

“Baby please open the door.” His voice is calm and hushed. “Please, have I done something wrong?”

I wipe my thumbs across my cheeks and rub  my palms down my face, clearing away my tears. I take a deep breath and slide back  up the cool metal bathroom wall. Again I dab at my eyes trying to clear any evidence of crying. Grabbing some toilet paper I wipe my eyes once more and nose. I must look like shit. Have I fucked this up! I look down at this gorgeous fairytale  dress (WORDS) gave me and dread looking at his face. I’ve ruined his evening. I’m way over my head, what was I thinking?  I lift up my shaking hand to unlock the door and the bracelet stops me instantly, I take another deep studdering breath.My mind is still wirling. Tears start to fall again. Unlocking the bolt on the door I slowly swing the door open.  He’s beautiful in his black tux, his hair soft  curled mess(WORDS) and his blue compassionate eyes and I’m about to lose him. Scared, I open the door wider and he steps to me engulfing me in his grasp. Pushing me against the wall he slams the door closed and locks it behind him. Stepping back a few inches from me,  my face is in his hands and runs his thumbs over my salty wet cheeks,  “Baby, what’s  going on with you? ”  I shake my head to him. Holding me his  eyes scan my face and then slowly down my body. He gently reaches up and brushes a lock of hair from my face and kisses my forehead. “Hey why the tears?” he wipes them away with his thumbs. Talk to me, beautiful” his voice is hushed. He thinks I’m beautiful, he’s so charming.

“I have to go home.” I studder through big ugly sobs.

“Shh,sh. Easy Baby. Why do you have to go home? Hmmm?” pulling me into his arms he hugs me tightly, kissing my hair his voice is gentle and quiet. I grab  around his waist and hug him back. He smells clean and comforting. I feel safe.

 “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“No!” I desperately  alarm  back to him. My tears slow and I manage to catch my breath. With all the control I can muster, I try to calmly assess the situation for damage. Looking down to his chest, I don’t know why maybe out of embarrassment mostly. “Are you mad at me? Do you hate me?”

“What?!” He steps back his forehead wrinkles with question. “Mad?! What are you talking about?”  He lifts my face and inches from his he looks right into my eyes.

“Baby, I love you I’m not mad. I don’t know where you get an idea I’m mad.”

I look into his eyes, “I’m not what you think I am. I’m bad.” I studder. “ I’m tarnished. I’ve got to give you this back.” I slide the braclet off my wrist and Jack’s hand grabs my wrist firmly. “No! That’s for you, don’t take it off. I want you to have this, I want you to know how I feel about you. What’s gotten into you Susie.?” His eyes looked strained with worry. “Can we get you out of here?” I nod. “ Come with me.”he turns to undo the lock.

“No I can’t go back in there.” I hear fear in my voice and swallow hard but, my mouth is dry.

“We won’t, I don’t know what scared you Sweetie but, we won’t go back in there. Do you need anything, forget anything? Or can we just go?”

“I have everything.” My voice is small like a child. I feel like I’m 12 years

“Ok. You ok to leave this stall?’ he has a quiet smile on his lips as he brushes my chin with his hand and pulls me into a sweet kiss.

“Yes.” Jack you’re the sweetest man I know. Unlocking the door he opens it and steps out, sliding his hand around my waist he guide me out towards the hall. Every women in the room turns and looks at us with there mouths and eyes wide  open.

“Enjoy your evening ladies.” Jack bids to them as he escorts me out. Leaning down he whispers “That should give them something to talk about for a while.” I give him a bleak half grin. He briskly walks me into the hall and  to the elevators. Pushing the button he summons the lift. I glance nervously around but, I don’t see Tommy anywhere. I feel safer with  Jack. The door opens and we walk in together. The door closes behind us, Jack pushes 23 and our ride travels up to the 23nd floor. We ride in silence. Jack stands beside me with hid hand my back splayed out softly stroking. I’m comfortable beside him, my fear has subsided. I’m anxious about Tommy and my explanation. The door opens and we step out,

“I had envisioned this a little differently but, I guess  it’s not the journey but the end result that matters. Come on I have a surprise for you.” He grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall to a double door. He pulls a out a card, slides it through a slot on the wall and with a small click a green light he opens the door to the most spectacular room.. We walk further into the room and Jack’s stops and watches me, I awe struck. It’s massive and filled with  dozens of red roses.  He steps up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest. The smell of roses distracts my fear and I start to relax.  “Are you ok sweetie?” His nose is in my hair. I close my eyes and pretend  I had a perfect life.

 “Yes.” I’m shy.

 “What happened?” he turns me around to face him.

“Jack I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wreck our evening but, I can’t, this isn’t an  easy  thing for me I’m sorry. I feel horrible. I don’t know that I should be here. I am so sorry for spoiling this evening. I don’t know that I can ever explain.”

“Hey I asked you here. I wanted you here. Please don’t feel like you shouldn’t be here. I don’t know what happened back down there but, I not letting you go any where. It’s just one evening, if you don’t like this sort of thing or the people, that’s ok.  When you’re ready, we’ll talk, I’ll wait. Just remember I’m always here.” He grabs my chin and tips my face up to his.  “You don’t have to explain. I want you here with me Baby. I love you no matter what.”  He briefly kisses my lips and just like that, end of question period. He’s always respectful and understanding even if he does understand. “I need to ask you something.”

“What?” wonder washes over my face. Please don’t ask about Tommy.

“Would you like a drink? Some champagne maybe?” he asks looking hopeful.

“Champagne?” I question his question, is that all. Feeling a moment of relief.

“I have some chilling.” He stops and looks around for something, devine intervention maybe. He seems nervous. “ I thought this evening would have turned out different. It didn’t and I don’t know why but,” he pauses, still looking, “ that doesn’t change anything baby.”

“Ok”

Taking my hand he leads me to a couch and turning to face me grabs my shoulders “Sit.” He demands. He walks behind a couch, picks up a bottle that has been chilling and two champagne flutes and returns to sit beside me. Handing me the flutes he grips the cork end of the bottle and pops it open, not spilling a drop. Filling both the glasses he proposes a toast, “To thanking God I met you.” we clink them together. “Jack you’re so, silly.” I suddenly become embarrassed and look down, not quite over the horrible feelings I just encountered . Fight an onset of more tears. Cupping my face forcing me to look straight into his eyes, “I loved dancing with you.” As the words leave his mouth I see anxiety in his eyes. “Do you know how much I love you baby?  Talking to you. Waking up with you. Riding with you. Building together.”

“Jack you’re just being nonsensicle,?”  feeling anxious of where he’s going with this,horror spreads through me like a brush fire. Fuck. Are you proposing?  Please don’t ask me to marry you, not now. Oh my God. “Jack,”

“Susie, I want you to move in with me.”

        “What?” tears start all over again. “What are you saying? Jack you hardly know me?”

“Baby, I know you well enough. I want to be with you day and night, Susie. I can’t get enough of you.”

“Jack, I don’t know what to say, I love you too. I just….I just don’t know what to say.” I launch myself at him, hugging around his neck, only spilling slightly.  If only you knew how much, you have become my world.

“Is that a yes?” his arms reciprocate and I feel his mouth at me neck.

“Yes.” Tears fall but, this time because of love not fear or heartbreak.

He shifts to look at me, “Hey. Don’t cry anymore baby, you should be happy.”

“I am happy. I’m overjoyed.”